Beautiful!

In this male-dominated society, women look to one another for support, confirmation, reassurance, and knowledge. We compare everything: our child rearing strategies, our cooking secrets, stess levels, careers, cleaning habits, and yes guys, we compare our husbands & boyfriends...we are always taking mental notes.

There are all kinds of women: pleasant...friendly, stuck up...up tight, perfectly dressed & made up...barely put together, gossipers...talkers, shy...fun loving, mean spirited...caring...and the list goes on. But what makes a woman beautiful? Depends on who you ask. After almost 18 years of marriage, my husband knows what to say to that question. He says that physical traits are important, but it's more about the attitude. Don't I know it!

For a few of my girlfriends, we greet each other with a "Hello, Beautiful" quite often. Just saying it projects how much we care for the other person, and receiving such a greeting brings an instant smile, and makes the heart feel full and happy. And it is almost always followed by a hug. Why? Because we know that we don't have to be anything more to each other than what we are. I could have no make up with my hair sticking up like I just got out of bed, and my friends would still say "Hello, Beautiful". Of course, they would proceed to tell me how awful I look...and that would be just fine with me, because I know they love me, and they know I love them.

As I walked around the office this morning, checking email, and browsing through my Facebook friends, I quietly said to the Lord "Thank you for all my beautiful girlfriends".


Have you told a woman in your life how beautiful she is to you today?


1 Peter 3:3-4 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

From Darkness to Light

Psalm 6 I am weary with my groaning; All night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears. 7 My eye wastes away because of grief; It grows old because of all my enemies.

There are those dark days when I just want to crawl into bed and hide from the outside world. Years ago I allowed myself to be swallowed up by the darkness. I would go weeks, months and I think even years where I would separate myself. I held everyone in my life at arms length and refused to allow my heart to feel love. That, in turn, kept me from giving love. I was miserable. There was always conflict in my life. My husband battled for my attention, I sat quietly in church and hoped no one would bother me. Yet I tried to pass off the image of being happy, content, and Christ-like. My entire life was a sham! I was good at faking a smile, faking interest in someone elses life, and faking the "happy family" life. I was convinced that this was all life had to offer me.

I had known who Christ was my entire life. I studied the Bible, I knew the stories, the promises and since childhood I'd prayed to Him to quiet the storms of my life both literal and surreal. It was not until the day finally came when I had done so much damage to myself and those around me that I could no longer live with myself. I had never felt unconditional love, and I had never given it, yet I did not know that. I was completely broken and without hope. I cried out to Jesus for mercy through streams of tears and shuddering sobs. Then He came to me, and wrapped me in the most beautiful, peaceful feeling I had ever had...His unconditional, never ending grace! He erased the pain from my heart, dried my tears, and replaced them with most beautiful Spirit.

Since that day, I have craved a touch from my Father. I've sought after His closeness and I know that in the darkest times God answers my cry for mercy. A simple heartfelt prayer can bring on the most wonderful peace. Sometimes I just want to wollow in my sorrow and hide from people and from God. But he's always waiting for me, gently knocking, reminding me of the love that he offers.

My life is so completely different now, and yes it happened overnight. My husband can tell you when that change happened and how drastic it was. I love without much restaint, now that I have felt the ultimate Love.

1 John 1: 5This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Listening for God

God has given me many gifts that have taken me a lifetime to find. Some I have managed to cultivate and grow. Some are still waiting for my full attentions. A few years ago I surrendered to God’s call to Women’s Ministry, and like so many eager to get started, I signed up for several things and answered fellow church members request to do this or that. But none of those “this” & “that’s” seemed to go anywhere. Now, three years later, my service direction is headed down a seemingly new path. What I didn’t know when I started down this path, was how many women’s lives were going to touch mine. In turn God blesses me with discernment, and the desire to grow those relationships. I’ve been through so much, both good and bad, in my life that my experiences seem to radiate from those women around me. I’ve felt what they feel, and I see it in their eyes, in their actions.

What I have the most trouble with is just listening and not giving advice. That’s what we do as women, we fix things, we fix relationships, we fix problems, we fix it all. Most of the time all these women want is someone to hear them, someone to listen. So that’s my goal…to try to listen…both to them and to what God is telling me. Sometimes the problem is obvious and the solution simple, but God says “Don’t speak”. Sometimes that person just comes to mind, and God says “Call her” or “Go say hello”. Sometimes He gives me words and I’m too scared to speak them. Sometimes a person crosses my mind so many times that I seek them out to find out what’s going on in their lives.

I used to ask “How do I know its God speaking to me?” That answer came over time with discipline and perseverance. If I’m reading the Word daily, and seeking His presence in prayer throughout my day, I don’t question. When I’m lagging behind and catching a scripture here and there, and prayer time is brief and far between, then I doubt myself constantly. So, yes, here comes the advice, but you’ve heard it before: read your Bible daily and pray with intent. Get into a Bible study, or start by reading one book in the Bible. Find one story from your childhood and study it. Then pray about what you read. "All Scripture is God-breathed..."2 Timothy 2:16 NIV

Do I get it right every time? NO! Do I always listen as well as I should? NO! Do I stumble over my self? Yes! Everyday! But we are not perfect. And unfortunately, as humans, part of the process of becoming like Christ, and listening to and using God’s words is making those mistakes and learning from them.

1 Peter 4:11 (New International Version)
If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.


Check out Brandon Heath’s “Give Me Your Eyes” video http://www.brandonheath.net/updatesinfo.php?id=10

Hard Blessings

When my two year-old daughter, Kaylea Grace was diagnosed with Leukemia in March of 2000, the news threw our family into shock. We numbly followed the protocol schedule through the first 28 days of “induction therapy”…the worst of it all. My worst memory in life is laying my baby girl on a towel in the floor, and then forcing her to take meds that made her instantly sick. I remember pleading with her to hold it down so we wouldn’t have to do it again, then rocking her in my arms and singing to her till she stopped gagging. Kaylea Grace has been in remission now for almost nine years, with what we have discovered are minimal side effects.

Through two a & a half years of treatment, David and I found new personal strengths, new friends, a stronger bond with our baby girl and other family members, and a new respect for one another. In truth our marriage had been suffering from years of neglect and reckless words and behavior. This “almost” tragedy could have been the final straw…but it wasn’t…it was a new beginning.

Throughout our life we’ve faced problems that made us ask questions like “why us”, “how are we going to get through this” or “what am I being punished for now”. Once it was all said and done, we were better for it in some way, and we were always blessed.

Life deals the occasional shock: divorce, loss of a child, teenage pregnancy, bankruptcy, long term illness…we just have to remember that God has a plan. Every problem has a solution, every accident has a purpose, every hurt heals…just keep looking for the blessing on the other side.

Romans 8:28 (NIV) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Gripped by Sin

For most people there are sins that just won’t let go…or maybe we just won’t let go of them. As I look back over my life, I see a theme. There is a certain category of sin that has followed me, and at times plagued me to the very core of my soul. Over the years it has morphed into whatever physical, mental or emotional state needed to cause the most damage. Before Jesus pulled me from the rubble in 2005, when this sin came slinking into my world I allowed it to take up residence and often times encouraged it to rage on until I couldn’t handle the pain it caused anymore. Then it would slink away…for a while…and wait for the next opportunity of weakness.

With God’s love, guidance and unending mercy over the last few years, I’ve learned to recognize areas in my life that are vulnerable to this sin, and I’ve been able to head off many of Satan’s attempts to quench the beautiful Spirit I share with my Lord. But he has also managed to sneak into unexpected places, and cause me great anguish at times. I like to think that there is something God wants me to do, and Satan doesn’t want it to happen. This makes whatever stress or tears this sin causes me so much easier to lay at Jesus’ feet, then burn that lesson learned into my conscience for later reference.

Bro. Tommy Miller said last Sunday that “the Devil can’t touch you unless God gives him permission”. That scares me more than anything in this world! But I know it has a purpose. God’s sifting me. He’s preparing me. He’s perfecting me. For what?...I know what pieces of it are, but the whole picture will never come to me in this life. I can’t wait till I can see the whole picture.

When I see Jesus, I know I will cry…for sorrow that I’m so unworthy, for Joy that He loves me anyway, and for gratitude that He carried me through it all and never gave up on me. He is my refuge from my own torment…my peace from my own chaos.

Psalm 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.

Read the rest of Psalm 40!

Personal Touch

Last night, as I hung Christmas cards around the window frame next to our sparkling tree, I took another glance at some with special little notes. All mentioning small things we had done that touched that family or that person. Then one card especially touched me. It was from a lady that I’ve know most of my life, who is aging very fast this last year or so. I can always expect a heart felt hug from her. She didn’t write anything but “Love” and her first name, but the card itself said all that needed to be said. One line: “…every person in my life has shaped and changed my life…”

Do I really think about how I touch people’s lives as I rush through my own mad, crazy world? Did I smile this morning as I pushed through the crowd of people at Walmart, or did I look like I was about to growl? Did I take enough time with my Mom this morning? Did I listen close enough to my friend on the phone? Whether we want to or not, we do shape and change people’s lives around us. I know that just this last year, there have been a couple of people that have changed the way I look at things, and helped give me a fresh passion for service and ministry in my church. But it doesn’t stop at church…it has to spill over into our everyday life…that passion should be seen by all that know us. That passion should lead every spoken word, every facial expression, every loving touch.

One of the loneliest thoughts I’ve ever had is that we are the only Christ some people will ever see or know. That thought in its self should inspire something in the hearts of Christians. We know His presence. We know His touch. We know His voice, His call. We know that like a child we can climb into Jesus lap and lay down to cry anytime we need Him…and He will sing our sorrows away. He is merely a thought away. Most people in this world do not know or even comprehend what I just said. So it matters that you say Merry Christmas and not Happy Holidays. It matters that you smiled and said hello to that grumpy, made up lady cutting you off in store traffic. It matters that you listen with purpose to the lonely guy that talks forever and ever. And it matters that you cried with a friend, or sang with JOY to your children. It matters that you share your love in Christ through your actions and your words. You may never know how, but every person you meet is shaped and changed by you in some way.

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

A Friend's Heart

My imagination takes me places that I find hard to describe in the spoken word. But for some reason I find words come easier to me when I write them down. I guess this is why I’ve had this desire to write my thoughts down since high school. Paper and pencil…no, but since I can type about as fast as I can think…the computer works out so much better for me.

A few months ago, a friend visited me at work…well she was looking for a coworker, but she was out, and her only option was me. She needed someone to type a journal letter she had written. I think she was afraid to share it with me at first, but I promised to be discreet, and really, she needed me. In typing that letter, reading her personal thoughts, I realized she was just like me. This woman…beautiful & talented… was thinking and writing down thoughts that were so like my own, but so much more insightful. If this woman’s thoughts were similar to mine, then there must be more out there like us.

Since that day, I’ve searched the hearts of my friends. I asked hard questions, shared heart warming and gut wrenching experiences. I even confided some of my deepest, darkest secrets, which was very hard to do because of a painful experience with a woman I thought I could trust. All of this only to find that they all shared the same fears, the same sorts of desires, the same doubts, the same daily trials. In the past few months, experiencing my friends in this new light, God has stretched my heart and opened my mind to a new philosophy: listening is much better than speaking; hugs & smiles open doors; encouragement writes a memory on the heart; and prayer brings peace & healing.

My challenge is to make a deeper connection with your friends…make a point of tending to them…not you. Start with one – don’t overwhelm yourself – and as that friendship grows, watch God work in your life and theirs.

Phillipian 2:1-4 (NIV) 1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.