Gripped by Sin

For most people there are sins that just won’t let go…or maybe we just won’t let go of them. As I look back over my life, I see a theme. There is a certain category of sin that has followed me, and at times plagued me to the very core of my soul. Over the years it has morphed into whatever physical, mental or emotional state needed to cause the most damage. Before Jesus pulled me from the rubble in 2005, when this sin came slinking into my world I allowed it to take up residence and often times encouraged it to rage on until I couldn’t handle the pain it caused anymore. Then it would slink away…for a while…and wait for the next opportunity of weakness.

With God’s love, guidance and unending mercy over the last few years, I’ve learned to recognize areas in my life that are vulnerable to this sin, and I’ve been able to head off many of Satan’s attempts to quench the beautiful Spirit I share with my Lord. But he has also managed to sneak into unexpected places, and cause me great anguish at times. I like to think that there is something God wants me to do, and Satan doesn’t want it to happen. This makes whatever stress or tears this sin causes me so much easier to lay at Jesus’ feet, then burn that lesson learned into my conscience for later reference.

Bro. Tommy Miller said last Sunday that “the Devil can’t touch you unless God gives him permission”. That scares me more than anything in this world! But I know it has a purpose. God’s sifting me. He’s preparing me. He’s perfecting me. For what?...I know what pieces of it are, but the whole picture will never come to me in this life. I can’t wait till I can see the whole picture.

When I see Jesus, I know I will cry…for sorrow that I’m so unworthy, for Joy that He loves me anyway, and for gratitude that He carried me through it all and never gave up on me. He is my refuge from my own torment…my peace from my own chaos.

Psalm 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.

Read the rest of Psalm 40!