God is sovereign! He is in total control of my life! Over the last few months I’ve struggled with a stronghold that I have laid down over and over, only to pick it back up within days or even hours. It has been torcher for my soul. I am reading through the Bible from beginning to end, but got a little bogged down in Jeremiah. So, after finishing Jeremiah I jumped over to the New Testament, and read through most of it, which was all familiar, but I always learn something new. It amazes me how my Bible Study for the day or week fits right in with what I needed to renew my spirit. Even more, it boggles the mind when Bro. Tommy’s sermons, radio commentaries, even the online Bible study that I get through email at work all pertain to the same subject!
Here is one even better than that! This is not what I wanted to blog about, but after you read this, you will know why I did.
I have had a few friends praying for me to be free of this stronghold. After listening to “Clear the Stage”(link below) for a second time out in the Refuge tonight, while praying for the teens that might need to be freed from their own strongholds, I suddenly couldn’t wait to get home, get into scripture, and get out on the deck to my quiet place to meet Jesus. For the first time in weeks, there was no rain, and the night was very bright! I prayed again for God to free me, to use this to His glory and allow me the ability to share Him through my writing. After several minutes, I came back in to the house and opened my Bible.
Now, remember, I got bogged down in Jeremiah. Day before yesterday I decided I needed to go ahead and get back on track;…God always seemed to use the path I was taking…so I thought I would give Lamentations a try. Have you read Lamentations? Oh, man! God is punishing Jerusalem! It’s in complete desolation, and Jeremiah is expressing his suffering for their pain. It’s very dark and scary to think that God could be that angry with us for our disobedience. Chapter 3 is full of graphic images of suffering and spiritual pain, but verse 24 spoke to my heart: “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I hope in Him!” I was so struck by that verse, that in all that suffering, all I had to do was allow myself to believe that He would bring me out. Yeah, yeah, I’ve been told and told myself over and over again. I quickly changed my Facebook status to Lamentations 3:24.
Here is where it gets really good. My friend Jamie lent me a book called “Praying God’s Word” by Beth Moore. It’s several chapters of Beth’s knowledge and insight into different kinds of strongholds, then lots of scripture rewritten by Beth as prayer. D A Y...Before…yesterday…I stopped jumping around reading what I thought I needed in this book, and began reading the first part of each chapter and then praying a few scripture. I picked up “Praying God’s Word” after finding Lamentations 3:24 and being so struck by that verse. I began reading the next chapter on overcoming despair. Now, when I started reading I realized it was about loss…more specifically, loss of a loved one. As I read the tearful pages of three women and their loss, I realized it could pertain to most any kind of stronghold that causes despair…and I was in despair. I was balling my eyes out as I finished these little stories, and started to read the first of the scriptures Beth had chosen. To my shock, it was Lamentations 3:22-25, with my verse right smack in the middle of it.
Beth’s rewritten prayer:Merciful and faithful Lord, because of Your great love I am not consumed, for Your compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lord, You are good to those whose hope is in You, to the one who seeks You.
I immediately went back to my quiet place, fell on my face…, and cried out in praise. He had just told me that I was going to be free, that He would use it to His glory and that I needed to tell this story! It was 10:06 pm when I first began praying. After weeks of not being able to get my words into writing, by 12:49 am I am finishing up this blog. Tell me God is not in complete control.
Clear the Stage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8sKURkM3Es
I highly recommend the book Praying God's Word, by Beth Moore
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Carnal Struggles
We have the power within us to spark desires and lust of all sorts. How we chose to wield that power says a lot about our inner character…not the character we show our peers…but the character we hide in our minds. The character we let out in private conversations and emails. Let me be brutally honest…we are beings that gravitate to the affections and admiration of others. Good friends or even friendly agitators could find themselves fulfilling some emotional need lacking in the other’s life. Once emotional needs are being met, it is a small step to physical needs without appropriate restraints. Too many times, we let our emotions and desires dictate our choices. We don’t stop to consider the cost to other people in our lives.
I have watched couples go from happy loving marriages, to depraved relationships spawned by reckless thoughts, words and actions. None of us are immune to it…we think we are until someone fails to guard their lips or their eyes or their hands, and inappropriate possibilities are set loose in our mind. We might never have thought about such things otherwise, or maybe the thoughts were already there, we just did not entertain them because we had no cause to believe they could become reality…or that the other person might actually want to be a part of those thoughts.
This is all very personal to me, both in pain caused by others and pain I have inflicted myself. My Grandpa left us when I was 11. He drove off the family farm and left us…for another woman. The farm was sold. The family gatherings were fewer and farther between, and I remember sitting on the porch for hours, watching and hoping Grandpa would come back. My Grandmother cried for what seemed like months, then tried to commit suicide several times. Even after 27 years, she still can’t be in the same room with him, and we’ve had to train our kids not to mention him at all.
The more I write about him, the more I want to cry. You see he’s not in my life anymore…not like those wonder filled days I spent on the farm as a child. I might see him once a year now. I have such a great sense of loss when I think of him, that it is just too hard to spend any real time with him anymore. He still calls me Sis, and he still has that warm, raspy, loving voice (A man in our church has the same voice, and I think of my Grandpa every time I hear him speak). But my kids will never know the man he once was. So many memories…so many missed.
Don’t get me wrong…I love him, and I wish, I wish, I wish I could have gone hunting or fishing or feeding with him a few more times. I wish I could sit comfortably and talk for hours just to hear his voice. I wish I could snuggle up next to him, and tell him how much it hurts, but he knows. He made a choice he thought was right for him. He thought he was leaving his wife for a better life, but he ended up losing so much more. He knows the pain he caused, and has become just a shell of the man I knew.
I think the life I knew then is why I love living where we do…out in the country, on a hill, with a pond in the field behind our home. Frogs and birds filling warm nights with the same beautiful song I remember from my Grandpa’s farm. And the smell…in the spring and summer the cedars give off a fragrance that reminds me of the creek bed where we used to swim. I miss him.
This is what we don’t consider when we make those selfish choices based on our wants and desires. We forget the lives we are changing…the hearts we’re supposed to love and protect…we forget that we have a purpose…God placed us here to fulfill some purpose, and throwing away His blessings of family, friends, ministry…is like stomping on the Blood of Christ, and shaking our fists at Him like it’s not good enough. When in truth, we are proving that we were never worthy in the first place.
Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
I have watched couples go from happy loving marriages, to depraved relationships spawned by reckless thoughts, words and actions. None of us are immune to it…we think we are until someone fails to guard their lips or their eyes or their hands, and inappropriate possibilities are set loose in our mind. We might never have thought about such things otherwise, or maybe the thoughts were already there, we just did not entertain them because we had no cause to believe they could become reality…or that the other person might actually want to be a part of those thoughts.
This is all very personal to me, both in pain caused by others and pain I have inflicted myself. My Grandpa left us when I was 11. He drove off the family farm and left us…for another woman. The farm was sold. The family gatherings were fewer and farther between, and I remember sitting on the porch for hours, watching and hoping Grandpa would come back. My Grandmother cried for what seemed like months, then tried to commit suicide several times. Even after 27 years, she still can’t be in the same room with him, and we’ve had to train our kids not to mention him at all.
The more I write about him, the more I want to cry. You see he’s not in my life anymore…not like those wonder filled days I spent on the farm as a child. I might see him once a year now. I have such a great sense of loss when I think of him, that it is just too hard to spend any real time with him anymore. He still calls me Sis, and he still has that warm, raspy, loving voice (A man in our church has the same voice, and I think of my Grandpa every time I hear him speak). But my kids will never know the man he once was. So many memories…so many missed.
Don’t get me wrong…I love him, and I wish, I wish, I wish I could have gone hunting or fishing or feeding with him a few more times. I wish I could sit comfortably and talk for hours just to hear his voice. I wish I could snuggle up next to him, and tell him how much it hurts, but he knows. He made a choice he thought was right for him. He thought he was leaving his wife for a better life, but he ended up losing so much more. He knows the pain he caused, and has become just a shell of the man I knew.
I think the life I knew then is why I love living where we do…out in the country, on a hill, with a pond in the field behind our home. Frogs and birds filling warm nights with the same beautiful song I remember from my Grandpa’s farm. And the smell…in the spring and summer the cedars give off a fragrance that reminds me of the creek bed where we used to swim. I miss him.
This is what we don’t consider when we make those selfish choices based on our wants and desires. We forget the lives we are changing…the hearts we’re supposed to love and protect…we forget that we have a purpose…God placed us here to fulfill some purpose, and throwing away His blessings of family, friends, ministry…is like stomping on the Blood of Christ, and shaking our fists at Him like it’s not good enough. When in truth, we are proving that we were never worthy in the first place.
Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Your Story
As I sat in the choir loft waiting for revival services to start last night, my eyes glancing from one friend to the next, I began thinking of their stories. Each one had a unique set of obstacles they had overcome: drug or alcohol addiction, depression, loss of a child, military wives, long term illness, abuse, renegade teenagers, teenage pregnancy…and the list goes on and on. Then my eyes rested on the beautiful lady sitting next to me…a woman with so much faith, yet so much to shake her fist at God in anger…but she doesn’t. She means so much to me. She is my friend, my singing partner, my confidant, my counselor and my mentor. She prays for me when I need her, she listens when I go on and on, and she holds me accountable for those weaknesses in my life. I just pray that I am those things to her also.
She used to share her story through her testimony and singing ministry, but circumstances have robbed her of the joy of that ministry. But why not share anyway…we get so bogged down in life, and we forget that our story is everyone else’s story too. We all have a story. We all have tragedy and triumph that in the end was a blessing from God to share with others. Why don’t we? Why don’t we take the opportunity to share the glory of God’s work in our lives with those struggling in the same problems? What’s your story?
Romans 15:17-18 (NIV) Therefore I glory in Christ Jesus in my service to God. I will not venture to speak of anything except what Christ has accomplished through me…
She used to share her story through her testimony and singing ministry, but circumstances have robbed her of the joy of that ministry. But why not share anyway…we get so bogged down in life, and we forget that our story is everyone else’s story too. We all have a story. We all have tragedy and triumph that in the end was a blessing from God to share with others. Why don’t we? Why don’t we take the opportunity to share the glory of God’s work in our lives with those struggling in the same problems? What’s your story?
Romans 15:17-18 (NIV) Therefore I glory in Christ Jesus in my service to God. I will not venture to speak of anything except what Christ has accomplished through me…
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Life Song
I remember playing on my swingset and singing Delta Dawn by Tanya Tucker at the top of my lungs as a child! I was always singing, and as a result my mother thought the whole family needed to be singing specials at church on a regular basis. We sang those beautiful old hymns like Wings of a Dove, That Old Country Church, On the Jericho Road, and Ten Thousand Angels. Now the problem with this was that I'm a little on the shy side...I physically react to nerves in the form of hives...or I used too. Public speaking of any kind was out of the question. But once I found Christ on the morning of April 3, 2005, I knew immediately that He was going to take me out of my comfort zone and give me a mic!
That very night at a Brady Weldon revival He sent a woman to the alter that ripped my heart to pieces...I was drawn to her and quietly witnessed to her what God laid on my heart...something I had never been able to do! God showed out that night as He did each and every night of that revival! There was an alter call like no other I'd ever seen or have seen since...lives were changed!
That same week I was asked to give my testimony at a youth drama presentation. I prayed for God's help, and wondered what in the world I was going to say when I got up there...my testimony is not for just any audience. Once I took the mic, my shaking hands stilled, my nervous voice calmed, and my story spilled out before a congregation that mostly knew nothing of me. I stepped off that stage into the crying arms of an old friend with a renewed spirit of God's Power! Since then I've never doubted God's hand in my life. When I feel God's pull, I go, because I know He will equip me.
Over the last year or so, God has pulled me back toward that song in my heart that just won't be quiet. I've been given the opportunity to find the song that God wants me to sing, and it has been the most wonderful, exciting experience. The actual singing has been an experience I'll always treasure, but it's the way God works in my life that has been the real ride. It has taken months, but slowly He is teaching me to hear my song, and to sing with courage and with the voice He wants me too. He's teaching me to find strength in Him and to let my life sing of His work in me.
Psalm 30:12 (NIV) that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.
That very night at a Brady Weldon revival He sent a woman to the alter that ripped my heart to pieces...I was drawn to her and quietly witnessed to her what God laid on my heart...something I had never been able to do! God showed out that night as He did each and every night of that revival! There was an alter call like no other I'd ever seen or have seen since...lives were changed!
That same week I was asked to give my testimony at a youth drama presentation. I prayed for God's help, and wondered what in the world I was going to say when I got up there...my testimony is not for just any audience. Once I took the mic, my shaking hands stilled, my nervous voice calmed, and my story spilled out before a congregation that mostly knew nothing of me. I stepped off that stage into the crying arms of an old friend with a renewed spirit of God's Power! Since then I've never doubted God's hand in my life. When I feel God's pull, I go, because I know He will equip me.
Over the last year or so, God has pulled me back toward that song in my heart that just won't be quiet. I've been given the opportunity to find the song that God wants me to sing, and it has been the most wonderful, exciting experience. The actual singing has been an experience I'll always treasure, but it's the way God works in my life that has been the real ride. It has taken months, but slowly He is teaching me to hear my song, and to sing with courage and with the voice He wants me too. He's teaching me to find strength in Him and to let my life sing of His work in me.
Psalm 30:12 (NIV) that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Getting Real!
Getting real with God…how often do we really open our hearts in faith to God? It’s not like He doesn’t already know, but somehow we think we can hide our deepest secrets from the Almighty Living Father! But what will really happen if we actually bring those secrets…that pain…that fear and lay them at the feet of Jesus? Not just say “here it is, please fix it”, but sincerely, with deepest heartfelt gratitude in KNOWING He will take it, and mold you with it. Will you accept His response? Are you afraid of what He will do?
John 11:40 …“Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?”
Where do we get off thinking that God can’t handle our biggest problems? Or even worse thinking that the smallest details of our lives aren’t worth His time! He created the universe from the color of your eyes to placing each and every star in the sky….He loved us so much that He made the ultimate sacrifice just so He – God could be with us here on earth and in Heaven someday! That wasn’t just for us, but for Him too! What we perceive as small problems or small sins separate us from His Holiness. So yes, Jesus wants us to give Him everything so that He can be near us, bless us, and work in us.
John 15:16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.
God chose YOU! John 15:16 sends chills down my spine. God chose me…the Creator of the Universe chose ME…He chose YOU! So why, would we hide from Him? Why wouldn’t we trust Jesus to take our life and use it to glorify God.?
John 14:13-14 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
Thank you Polly…I was stuck and you gave me inspiration!
John 11:40 …“Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?”
Where do we get off thinking that God can’t handle our biggest problems? Or even worse thinking that the smallest details of our lives aren’t worth His time! He created the universe from the color of your eyes to placing each and every star in the sky….He loved us so much that He made the ultimate sacrifice just so He – God could be with us here on earth and in Heaven someday! That wasn’t just for us, but for Him too! What we perceive as small problems or small sins separate us from His Holiness. So yes, Jesus wants us to give Him everything so that He can be near us, bless us, and work in us.
John 15:16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.
God chose YOU! John 15:16 sends chills down my spine. God chose me…the Creator of the Universe chose ME…He chose YOU! So why, would we hide from Him? Why wouldn’t we trust Jesus to take our life and use it to glorify God.?
John 14:13-14 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
Thank you Polly…I was stuck and you gave me inspiration!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Beautiful!
In this male-dominated society, women look to one another for support, confirmation, reassurance, and knowledge. We compare everything: our child rearing strategies, our cooking secrets, stess levels, careers, cleaning habits, and yes guys, we compare our husbands & boyfriends...we are always taking mental notes.
There are all kinds of women: pleasant...friendly, stuck up...up tight, perfectly dressed & made up...barely put together, gossipers...talkers, shy...fun loving, mean spirited...caring...and the list goes on. But what makes a woman beautiful? Depends on who you ask. After almost 18 years of marriage, my husband knows what to say to that question. He says that physical traits are important, but it's more about the attitude. Don't I know it!
For a few of my girlfriends, we greet each other with a "Hello, Beautiful" quite often. Just saying it projects how much we care for the other person, and receiving such a greeting brings an instant smile, and makes the heart feel full and happy. And it is almost always followed by a hug. Why? Because we know that we don't have to be anything more to each other than what we are. I could have no make up with my hair sticking up like I just got out of bed, and my friends would still say "Hello, Beautiful". Of course, they would proceed to tell me how awful I look...and that would be just fine with me, because I know they love me, and they know I love them.
As I walked around the office this morning, checking email, and browsing through my Facebook friends, I quietly said to the Lord "Thank you for all my beautiful girlfriends".
Have you told a woman in your life how beautiful she is to you today?
1 Peter 3:3-4 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
There are all kinds of women: pleasant...friendly, stuck up...up tight, perfectly dressed & made up...barely put together, gossipers...talkers, shy...fun loving, mean spirited...caring...and the list goes on. But what makes a woman beautiful? Depends on who you ask. After almost 18 years of marriage, my husband knows what to say to that question. He says that physical traits are important, but it's more about the attitude. Don't I know it!
For a few of my girlfriends, we greet each other with a "Hello, Beautiful" quite often. Just saying it projects how much we care for the other person, and receiving such a greeting brings an instant smile, and makes the heart feel full and happy. And it is almost always followed by a hug. Why? Because we know that we don't have to be anything more to each other than what we are. I could have no make up with my hair sticking up like I just got out of bed, and my friends would still say "Hello, Beautiful". Of course, they would proceed to tell me how awful I look...and that would be just fine with me, because I know they love me, and they know I love them.
As I walked around the office this morning, checking email, and browsing through my Facebook friends, I quietly said to the Lord "Thank you for all my beautiful girlfriends".
Have you told a woman in your life how beautiful she is to you today?
1 Peter 3:3-4 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
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